


My Brother's Keeper

by SluttyPamian



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Human AU, Look I don't condone it but I ended up loving writing this, M/M, RK900 is called Niles, Sibling Incest, Trans Male Character, also sorry not sorry for the bean, call it Tasteful Incest if you must, finally finished after all these long years, he's four years older than connor, no beta we die like men, spot the tropes folks, you'll understand when you read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-07-18 01:47:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16108229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SluttyPamian/pseuds/SluttyPamian
Summary: Ever since they had been children, Niles and Connor had been close. The death of their mother and being thrown into foster care only made them closer. At first, being adopted by Amanda Stern had been a blessing, an anchor in stormy seas. But the only anchor Niles and Connor needed was each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: I'm completely fine I swear, please don't be concerned for my well being. (Although I do appreciate the concern.)
> 
> Big TW for incest and some transphobic language towards the end. Notes/thoughts about my syntax and objective writing choices will be at the end.
> 
> So uh yeah, there's an incest trigger warning. I'm breaking one of my like 2 rules for things I'll never willingly write and fucking hate myself??? So I mean like five billion years ago when I was a bright young fanfic writer, I thought writing noncon was like the biggest sin imaginable and the first time I ever wrote it I hated myself and felt so disgusting but then I just,,,,, kept fucking doing it? And went down a slippery slope from there and I kind of decided that I wanted to write horrible shit just for the sake of writing horrible shit.
> 
> My shitfuck of a brain was like "hey, you should write Nines and Connor fucking" and I was like, 'yeah brain that sounds cool' and my brain said "you should make them human and brothers" and honestly I've never had stronger feelings to eat a tide pod.
> 
> So I guess this is going to be an experiment. Can I write this? Can I make it good? Can I portray something I have such a deep hatred for in a way that it's appealing to others?
> 
> I was so caught up on whether or not I could, I forgot to ask if I should.

Connor was surprised when Amanda informed him Niles would be coming home for Christmas. They had a falling out when Connor was just starting high school and Niles had left for college. After the falling out, Connor was forbidden from ever speaking to his brother again. Connor didn't listen of course and had spent the last four years talking to his brother in secret using pay phones and a hidden text app on his phone so Amanda couldn't read the messages. They had been close ever since they were children, relying on each other ever since their birth mother had died. Connor was four, Niles eight. It wasn’t until just a few weeks after Niles’ thirteenth birthday they were adopted by Amanda Stern after spending years in an orphanage. At first, Amanda was a great mother to the pair, but eventually it became apparent she didn’t know much about raising children at all. Niles raised Connor more than Amanda did, helping his younger brother with schoolwork, making sure he ate properly, and spending time with him.

Connor didn’t remember when exactly Amanda and Niles started to butt heads, only that the more stressed their relationship became, the closer he got to his brother. He remembered several nights waking up crying because he could hear Amanda yelling at Niles in the next room. He could never fall back asleep after waking up like that and would often sneak into Niles’ room and creep into bed with him. Niles would shake in silent anger until Connor wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tight. Niles would return the affection, threading his fingers through Connor’s hair and massaging his scalp until they both drifted off to sleep. Eventually, Connor couldn’t sleep without Niles holding him and he spent more nights in his brother’s bed than his own. When Amanda found out, she was visibly disgusted with them both. Said that at their age, they were too old to be doing stuff like that. Niles and Connor didn't care what Amanda said. She didn't understand how important the brothers were to each other.

When Niles got his first job, Amanda forced him to have a joint account with her so she could monitor his funds. Luckily, while Niles’ social circle wasn't much further than Connor, he did have a few friends who helped him set up a hidden account that Amanda had no clue existed. With this hidden account, Niles eventually was able to buy Connor things Amanda would never let him have, like button up shirts and a binder for his developing chest. Amanda would send Connor outside in stage makeup and frilled dresses every day if she could just so he'd fit his assigned birth gender, but Niles would stop her whenever possible. One day, he cut Connor’s then waist length hair short to his ears and styled it before he left for school. When Amanda saw Connor later that day, she whipped him with a switch until he could barely stand and sent him to his room. She followed him later with garbage bags and got rid of anything he owned that was too boyish. Niles came home late that night, only about half an hour before dinner was ready. As he walked passed Connor's room, he heard his little brother crying inside and cracked the door. He knew as soon as he saw his face something terrible happened, and he felt his rage starting to boil up when he saw the haphazardly opened drawers devoid of clothing. Amanda even found Connor's binder, and to add insult to injury had cut it down the middle with scissors. He pulled the crying Connor into his arms and held him tightly until Amanda called them both to dinner.

Niles tilted Connor's face up to him and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead to soothe him before taking his hand and leading him to the kitchen. Connor squeezed his hand like it was a lifeline and didn't let go until they had entered the kitchen and Amanda looked at them in quiet disgust as she set their plates on the table. Niles hadn't said a word to Connor since getting home and had no idea he had been switched until he noticed the sharp wince of pain flash across his face as he sat on the hard wood of the dining room chair. Niles’ fists tightened, but he remained quiet as to not provoke Amanda's rage. The dinner passed in silence until Amanda found fit to question the brothers about Connor's hair as they finished up the last few bites of their dinner. Connor was ready to take all the blame, but Niles had the quicker tongue and spoke first. Amanda and Niles spoke back and forth, almost ignoring Connor, which was fine with him. Niles was the first to lose his temper and slammed his open palms on the table when Amanda coldly bit that she wouldn't let her important image be ruined because her adopted daughter was a tranny. Connor could practically feel the fury radiating from Niles as he leaned over the table and opened his mouth to bark back at Amanda. He wasn't able to say much, however, as he was silenced by the surprisingly sturdy back of Amanda's hand. He froze and Connor gasped from the display, and Niles quietly sank back into his chair. Amanda left the table to set out dessert, and when Niles and Connor had finished were told to go to their rooms for the rest of the night.

Connor had trouble sleeping. Each time he finally managed to drift to sleep, something would jerk him awake and it would take several minutes for his heart and breathing to calm down. At one point during the night, his door opened and a panic flooded his system. Something in the back of his mind told him it was Amanda to switch him again, and hot tears fell from his face. It wasn't until a familiar weight made his bed dip that Connor released the breath he had been holding and allowed himself to relax as Niles pulled them close together on Connor's small bed. Connor turned so he could press several timid kisses to Niles’ jaw. Niles hummed softly in response and rubbed calming circles on Connor's back. Soon, Connor drifted off to sleep in between his timid kisses and the comforting feel of Niles’ hand.

It wasn't long after that Amanda and Niles began fighting about his schooling. Amanda wanted Niles to go for computer programming, Niles wanted to go for forensics and pursue a career as a detective. Amanda told Niles she wouldn't give him a penny to pay for school if he didn't do what she wanted. It was then Niles dropped a bomb that caught Amanda and Connor off guard: He already applied and was accepted to Jericho University, one of the top colleges in the country. He had gotten lucky, after scholarships he was only going to be paying eight thousand dollars a year. He was going to be living on campus too, and working with an intern program to keep himself afloat. Amanda sneered at him, challenging him as to how he was gonna get to Jericho as she legally owned the car he drove. The smirk on his face as he explained to Amanda he scraped together enough money with some grants and clever favours for his own car made something twist inside Connor. Amanda fumed silently for a time, then with venom in her voice told Niles to pack his bags and get out of the house, that she didn't want to see him until he came to his senses and decided to be a good son.

Connor didn't want Niles to leave, but was happy for him nonetheless. He helped his brother pack, a bittersweet mood settling over the pair. It would be a long time before they saw each other again, Connor realized, and couldn't stop the tears that fell from his eyes. Niles brushed away the tears with gentle hands and murmured soothing words to his brother as he continued to gather his belongings. Connor almost wanted to throw everything across the room and stop his brother from leaving. He couldn't imagine having to spend the foreseeable future without him. Niles finished packing his bag and looked around the room a final time to make sure he had everything. He could feel the sadness radiating off of Connor and his downtrodden face caused his heart to twist painfully in his chest. Before leaving the privacy of his former room and having to pass under the hawklike gaze of Amanda, he cradled Connor's face in his hands and gave him a tender kiss with the promise he'd come back for him one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope the style of this first chapter wasn't too bad. The next chapter (yes I'm sorry... There will be at least one more chapter of this...) will be more present tense and how I normally write with the mix of dialogue and stuff happening. I tried to write this as one big flashback, and all chapters following are going to be present tense and progressing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've finally circled through all the stages of grief with this fic and am finally ready to go balls deep into it. (And Connor.) 
> 
> So I do kind of have an idea how the rest of this fic is going to go? Originally I planned on this being three chapters: The first chapter was going to be told in flashbacks basically and setting the plot. The second chapter was going to be Niles and Connor interacting with Amanda hovering over them, and the brothers both having "oh no, I like him too much and there's no way he could feel the same" type thoughts. Then the third (and final) chapter was going to be be Niles and Connor leaving at ass crack o'clock in the morning and a time skip to them at a hotel before getting to Niles' apartment, followed by some tender interaction and then they F U C K and some more plot happens.
> 
> Now from what I can tell, the next chapter is going to be Connor interacting with Niles, them being a little too close, and Connor having "shit oh no I have inappropriate feelings towards my brother, there's no way he could return them, right?" thoughts followed by some plot that results in Connor telling Niles he'll leave with him. So then chapter 4 at this point will be them leaving, mixed with some plot and by this point in time their interactions will be VERY obviously incest-y but still no fuckscene. It's basically gonna be some talking and a little heavy petting? Then chapter five I think will be the actual smut part? No promises though, I'm running mostly blind here.

Connor was waiting on the couch for Niles to arrive. He could almost feel himself vibrating out of his skin as the minutes ticked by. He had called Amanda earlier in the day letting her know that he would be home around eight that night. It was a little after eight when Connor finally heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway, and shortly after there was a knock at the door. Connor tried to get up from his spot on the couch before feeling Amanda’s hand tightly grip his shoulder and hold him in place. She walked over to the door and opened it with what on the surface certainly looked like a warm smile, but Connor knew it to be a farce.

“Niles,” Her voice was calm.

“It’s good to see you. Please, come inside.”

Connor couldn’t believe how much his brother had changed over the years. His face was stoic, eyes much colder than he had seen. He was broader and looked intimidating, he had always been taller than Connor, but now he looked like he could take on a linebacker. His posture was prim and almost robotic in nature. He and Amanda shook hands before Amanda gestured to a chair beside the couch where he could sit.

“Why don’t you tell us how school has been?”

Niles barely looked at Connor while he spoke of school. He was doing well at least, top of his class and perfect attendance. His work study program had him working in an excellent police precinct and he had actually moved out of the student housing and into a respectable two bedroom apartment. Amanda asked the normal ‘mom’ questions: was he eating alright? Sleeping enough? Did he have a girlfriend? The last question seemed to catch Niles off guard and his stoic face betrayed the barest hints of embarrassment.

“There is... Someone I care for.”

Connor waited for Niles to elaborate, despite a twinge of something in his stomach. Why did he care if Niles had a girlfriend? Amanda didn’t ask Niles to elaborate, opting instead to curl her lips at him with a suspicious glance. They talked until about ten, Connor not having many chances to interject or otherwise participate in the conversation. Eventually Amanda retired to her room, bidding Connor and Niles a goodnight after informing him he could sleep in his old room. Once the telltale sound of Amanda’s door closing sounded in the otherwise quiet house, Connor and Niles shared a sigh of relief. Niles’ face softened finally into the warm face of his brother he remembered from years ago.

“I missed you.” Connor said breathlessly.

Niles chuckled softly and moved so he could sit next to Connor on the couch. Immediately Connor snuggled against him and felt like he was going to burst from joy when Niles wrapped his arms around him.

“Missed you too.” 

They sat in silence, Connor listening to his brother’s heartbeat with a content smile. Even after all the years that had passed, he still felt just as secure now as he had back then. 

“Your hair’s gotten long again.” Niles observed.

Connor huffed in disappointment and adjusted himself in Niles’ arms.

“Yeah... I don’t like it. Mom still won’t let me buy boy clothes either, even with my own money. She makes me wear skirts and dresses to all my business meetings too.”

Niles made a noise in the back of his throat that sounded almost like a growl.

“She’s terrible. You should leave.”

Connor looked up, expecting to see some sort of humor in Niles’ face, but was met with a pair of steely blue eyes and no trace of a smirk.

“Niles... You’re kidding, right? I can’t just... Leave.”

“Of course you can. Why do you think I came to visit?”

Connor’s eyes widened. Certainly Niles wasn’t suggesting what he thought he was?

“Niles... What do you mean?”

“I mean that I intend to bring you back with me. There’s plenty of room for you where I live, and I’ll be able to provide for you while you attend school. I’ve looked into the transfer protocols, it’s only a matter of filling out the appropriate paperwork.”

“You’re going to kidnap me?”

Niles blinked slowly.

“Kidnapping would insinuate that you do not willingly come with me. I see no reason why you wouldn’t accompany me when I return.”

Connor glanced nervously towards Amanda’s door. It was unlikely she would come out, but anxiety still worked its way through Connor’s body.

“Niles, I can’t... I can’t just run away from mom. I...”

“I understand your apprehension. However, I believe this would be the best course of action. Amanda has shown abusive and controlling behaviours for the entire time we have been in her care. In the past, she has physically and mentally abused you and attempted to do the same to me. She controls your access to communication, and as far as she knows, has prevented us from talking for nearly four years.”

Niles was so calm and precise as he spoke, an almost robotic inflection. Connor found himself worrying the inside of his cheek and tugging at Niles’ sleeves to keep himself grounded. What Niles was saying was true, Amanda had been abusing him and his brother for almost as long as he could remember. Hearing someone else say it however was jarring. Like being confronted by his own thoughts. Being confronted by the things he knew were true. Connor made a distressed noise in the back of his throat in lieu of a proper response.

“You don’t have to decide now.” Niles told him, his voice more soothing and less robotic.

“I’m going to be here for a week before I go back. I want you to come with me, but I’m not going to force you. I’m not like Amanda.”

Niles rubbed soothing circles into Connor’s back until his younger brother was completely relaxed against him. Connor stretched himself out on the couch and their bodies fit snugly together. Niles was content to remain like that, to allow himself to drift off to sleep holding onto Connor, but he knew if they fell asleep like that Amanda would find them in the morning and be upset. Niles tried to gently lift Connor off the couch without him noticing, but Connor was still awake and whined.

“Don't leave Niles, stay with me longer.”

The desperate want in Connor's voice threatened to tear Niles’ heart from his chest. The soft and pleading brown eyes that fixed him with a deep gaze didn't help. He stroked his brother's face with a soothing smile and continued to gently lift him.

“Not tonight Connor, we have to make sure we don't upset mom my first day back.”

Connor groaned and held tight to Niles so he would have to do all the work. Niles easily lifted Connor bridal style and carried him to his room and after some careful juggling had pulled back the covers of Connor's bed and laid him on it. Connor allowed himself to be tucked into bed without complaint and Niles gave the room a quick once over before kissing the top of Connor's head and wishing him a goodnight. Connor mumbled a sleepy 'Ninight’ in response and snuggled deeper into the mattress. Stepping into his old room brought back both good and bad memories for Niles, despite the fact it had changed since he had been gone. It was obvious Amanda had started converting it into a second office and had tossed a futon in it as a second thought. He didn't care however, he had expected the bare minimum of hospitality from Amanda in the first place. He had spent the past year slowly getting back in her good graces so he could come home and visit Connor, hoping that even if he didn't manage to convince him to leave with him, they would at least be able to keep in touch without Amanda trying to control their contact again.

Niles was aware that at times he could be... Affectionate with Connor, maybe more so than siblings typically were. Initially, he passed it off as the tried and true literary trope of 'big stoic man, big squishy heart’ and figured getting a boyfriend would be a good outlet for his affections. He dated around a bit in high school, showered them with affection, but it didn't change how happy he was wrapping his arms around Connor for a hug, or just casually holding his hand while lounging around the house with him. What made him the happiest was when Connor was the one to initiate things. Connor would often bound excitedly towards him and catch him in a surprise hug or babble happily about something that he read. The memory made Niles sigh as he sank into the uncomfortable mattress of the futon. He’d much rather sleep next to Connor, even on the couch where he'd wake up with a crick in his neck. He chased the thoughts away with a frown. Connor was an adult now, it wasn't like when they were kids and could get away with stuff like that. Besides, he doubted Connor really wanted to be smothered by him anymore.

He cast a glance over at the door. Being home made him feel oddly suffocated, or perhaps it was being around Amanda. She had always been observant of Niles and Connor, as if she thought something was going on. Niles wrinkled his nose. But something was going on, wasn’t it? Niles didn’t drive for fifteen hours to visit Amanda, he drove fifteen hours to visit Connor. He wasn’t entirely... Sure what his feelings for Connor were. The more he dwelled on it, the more he realized how much he needed Connor, and there was no way his feelings could be returned the same way. He rolled over in bed and pressed his face into the pillow, debating on whether or not he wanted to smother himself. He hadn’t felt so jittery since he tried asking out Gavin from his calculus class. Maybe coming home was a mistake? He groaned into the pillow and tried to clear his head. He could think himself into anxious circles in the morning, for now he needed to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, hope y'all's are... Enjoying this? Idk, I've gotten over myself a bit I guess and I'm almost having fun writing this now? Shock value stuff is my jam and what's more shocking than Connor getting dicked down by his brother idk????
> 
> Oh hey, I forgot to mention it before but I have a discord server if you want to come meme about depression with me.
> 
> https://discord.gg/bDnHetr


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all's I'm so excited for this you have no idea. Sorry it took so long to get the chapter out, I got distracted playing Destiny and petting cats.
> 
> This chapter we finally have a real kiss, and things got a lot angstier than I intended? This was supposed to be a fun day of fair fun and sexual innuendo and it turned into... Wheh???
> 
> But anyway, enjoy.

Naturally, Amanda wanted to micromanage everyone’s time while Niles was visiting. She had detailed activities planned that let her keep a close eye on Niles and Connor with little time for them to talk by themselves. They visited museums, historical sights, nature trails, and even managed to find interactive workshops. They were all fun activities that were ruined by Amanda’s micromanaging and passive aggressive attitude. The first real day the brother’s had to themselves was on the fourth day of Niles’ visit when Amanda had to make an unexpected visit to her office. Niles and Connor celebrated by going to a small pop up fair that was a forty minute drive from the house. There was no way to tell how long Amanda would be at the office, but she wouldn’t be able to do anything once the pair had already left the house. Connor was vibrating in the passenger seat the entire way there, excitedly telling Niles about all the rides he wanted to go on. Niles chattered back, though it might have lacked the excitement of Connor’s voice, and mentioned it would be nice to try some of the fair food. They went for the rides first, Connor leading the way and Niles following with a soft smile. It reminded him of years ago when Connor would convince him to go on adventures through the overgrown wooded areas by their house, neither of them worrying about how Amanda would react later. Connor was always the adventurous of the pair, while Niles tagged along to keep him safe. Seeing how bright Connor’s face was, made it all worth it.

“Niles?”

He had zoned out thinking about the past and hadn’t realized Connor had led them both to the midway where the food stands were centered. Niles blinked a couple times to gather his thoughts before answering Connor.

“Sorry, I was distracted. What were you saying?”

His fingers were somehow interlaced with Connor’s and he squeezed them to ground himself. The simple act brought a smile to Connor’s face and he continued to talk.

“It’s about time for lunch, don’t you think? I keep smelling chinese food and want to find the vendor.”

Niles let himself be pulled along by Connor as he looked for the source of the chinese food smell. Connor’s hair bounced and flowed behind him cutely as they walked along. Niles was aware that people were watching the pair and could clearly see the protective way he looked at Connor, and could see every time Connor drew in close to Niles’ personal space to whisper something to him. He... Liked the fact people could see him and Connor. He liked being seen with him and liked the way it made his heart speed up. When they found the vendor selling the chinese food, Niles wrapped an arm around Connor as they approached. Connor relaxed easily into the gesture and looked over at Niles with a fond smile. 

“Hey, what can I get for you today?” The vendor greeted them when it was their turn.

Niles paid for both his and Connor’s food, though Connor complained about Niles spending all his money on him. Both Connor and Niles ordered a small meal, Niles ordering a honey shrimp with rice dish, and Connor a chicken and veggie stir fry with lo mein noodles. The vendor flashed them both a smile as he handed off the food and even had the audacity to wink at Connor.

“Hope you cuties enjoy your date.” He told them as they went to take a seat.

Connor walked ahead of Niles so he wouldn’t be able to see Connor’s blushing face. Connor was aware that throughout the day he had been acting overly affectionate towards Niles, but hadn’t realized someone would think they were a couple. Connor was simply... Aware that his time with Niles would be over in a few days, and once Amanda was done at the office she would demand the two come home so she could control them more. As Connor reached the table, another thought occurred to him and he clenched his jaw. He realized he was just projecting on Niles, pretending that he returned Connor’s affections. When Niles sat opposite of him and smiled, Connor felt his heart twisting in his chest. He tried to return Niles’ smile but couldn’t make it genuine enough to pass his scrutiny.

“Connor, is everything alright?”

Niles had been so caught up in a strange, warm feeling at the food vendors parting words he hadn’t realized Connor’s attitude changed. He was obviously distressed by the fact the two of them were mistaken for a romantic couple. Niles blamed himself immediately, his actions towards Connor were completely inappropriate. He merely wanted... All that made him feel complete was Connor, and he let his own feelings negatively affect Connor.

“I’m fine.” Came Connor’s quiet reply.

Niles knew better.

“Connor, please talk to me.”

He reached across the table for Connor’s hand, but stopped halfway. If he was the one making Connor upset, he didn’t want to risk further damage, even if he was trying to make everything better. He was about to pull his hand away when Connor suddenly reached out and tightly clasped it. He didn’t say anything at first. They sat at the table, their food getting cold. Connor almost looked like he was going to cry.

“Niles...”

He could feel his heart breaking at the shaky sound of Connor’s voice.

“D’you ever think... Y’ever think...”

He tapped on the table several times to try and find his words.

“Sometimes I don’t think you like me.” He rushed out.

“I mean, I’m so... I’m just? I don’t know?”

Niles locked his jaw to keep a tremble hidden. He loved Connor, how could he not? When had he ever done something that would indicated to Connor he had anything other than love for him?

“I feel like you’ve always been better than me, and that I’ve just been in your shadow. You went to a good school, you got away from mom, you always stood up to her. And I...”

A stray tear dripped into Connor’s food.

“I thought you were the best. And you always looked out for me. I guess... After you left, well, I told you things were getting really bad yeah? I thought that maybe I cared about you more than you cared about me. And I know that sometimes I can get... Um...”

Niles was floored. Connor thought he didn’t care about him? He was about to correct him when the full meaning of what he said hit him. Connor was worried that his affection was inappropriate, and that it made him uncomfortable because he didn’t feel the same. Niles reached out a shaky hand and placed it on Connor’s face. He wished they could have some privacy, but he was going to comfort Conor whether they had it or not.

“Connor, look at me.”

He tilted Connors head up and brushed his hair behind his ears. He wasn’t fully crying yet, but Niles could see the tears threatening to spill out.

“We’ve been together our entire lives, I’ve cared about you that entire time. I’ve always thought that... I was the one that cared too much. That maybe my behaviour towards you wasn’t healthy.”

Without really realizing what he was doing, Niles stroked Connor’s cheek as he spoke.

“I... Figured I was projecting on you. I figured that I was imagining you returning my feelings when you didn’t.”

He should stop stroking Connor’s cheek, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to tune out everything around him and focus on nothing but Connor. The pressure against his palm changed as Connor leaned into it and closed his eyes. The tears that had been brimming in his eyes silently dripped out and spilled over Niles’ hand.

“What do we mean by ‘feelings’?” 

Connor’s question was so quiet, so unsure that Niles almost didn’t hear it. He could’ve chosen to ignore it, pretend he didn’t hear it. He could’ve pulled away at that point, in fact, it was likely what he should’ve done. Instead however, Niles listened to a more basal whisper in the back of his head and moved forward. He told himself that he’d stop before reaching Connor, that he wasn’t fully intending to go through with his impulsive plan, but Connor seemed to have a plan of his own. Connor moved forward as well, and their lips met in a clumsy kiss. It wasn’t elegant at all, too much teeth to be fully enjoyable. They parted quickly, each with a scared and confused look on their face. Connor’s lips trembled, Niles set his jaw in a hard line. They ate their lunches in silence and when the meal was over sat awkwardly at the table. Niles was the first to break the silence.

“Home?”

Even without a full sentence, Connor understood and nodded. The drive back didn’t have any of the excited energy and was instead pensive, muted. They made it home before Amanda and walked into the quiet house side by side. They deposited their shoes by the door and casually meandered through the living room until they came to sit on opposite ends of the couch. They weren’t on opposite ends for long, soon choosing instead to entangle their bodies with Connor’s face pressed into Niles’ neck. It felt different from all the times before. This time there was a sense of relief, a tension melting away as Niles rubbed soothing circles into Connor’s back.

“Niles?” 

“Hmm?”

Connor felt he could doze off on the couch, and tried to rouse himself before he did.

“Were you telling the truth when you said you came here to get me? That I can come back with you?”

He adjusted himself to that he was pressed chest-to-chest with Niles, forearms on either side of him acting as both a support, and unintentionally keeping Niles gently pinned in place. Niles wrapped his arms around Connor and squeezed gently.

“Of course Connor. I’ll be able to take care of you, Amanda won’t be able to groom you anymore, you can have more freedom, and...”

Niles trailed off looking bashful.

“You can have me, too. I mean, if... Since...”

It was only when he was with Connor when Niles acted this way. He wasn’t so stoic, and actually let himself show emotion. Let himself be gentle. He didn’t have to plan what he was going to say as much. His face was flushed, so was Connor’s.

“Since...”

Niles was suddenly aware of how hot he was with Connor’s lighter weight atop him. He carefully pulled Connor closer and waited with bated breath to see if his younger brother would act. Connor did, to Niles’ infinite delight. He brought their lips together, here in the privacy of their own home there was no need for shame or modesty. The kiss was soft, closed lip and conveyed Connor's love and comfort for Niles. It was an anchor that the pair held onto for as long as they could. An anchor they held onto until the sounds of Amanda's car in the driveway could be heard.

“Go pack your bags,” Niles instructed firmly.

“We have to leave now. Don't say a single word to Amanda, if you speak, speak to me. You know she'll try and confuse you.” 

Connor nodded in agreement and quickly got off Niles. Niles left the couch as well and dared to steal one more kiss from Connor, this one powerful and full of promises.

“I love you.” He reminded Connor.

“I love you.” Came Connor's reply.

It was the most confident Connor had felt in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still thinking this will be five chapters depending on how the next one goes. Next chapter we have the brothers fleeing from Amanda, and depending on if they fuck or not there will be another chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something went fucky while I was messing with notes on my phone, so there might be some weird stuff with the chapter intros until I get it fixed.
> 
> Sorry this chapter took so long to crank out, been kinda working on other projects and having fun with video games I guess. The next chapter is already in progress and should be the last one.
> 
> Also not beta'd because I'm too lazy to get out my computer, so this is posted from my phone and I apologise for any errors that slipped through.

Niles kept Amanda busy while Connor quickly packed his things into a small suitcase. He took only the essentials: his birth control, some changes of clothes, a brace for his knee, his notes from school, and a stuffed giraffe Niles gave him when he was ten. He could vaguely hear Niles and Amanda talking in the living room as he looked for a folder he could put some important papers in. He snuck into Amanda's room and went to a fake panel in the back of her closet. He'd known about it for years but never had any reason to go there, now he did. Hidden in the panel were important documents such as birth certificates and social security cards. Connor took his own card, as well as his birth certificate. He’d need them for later and didn’t want to have to go through the hassle of getting copies. He heard a sudden sharp smack coming from the living room and inhaled sharply. The smack was followed by Amanda yelling obscenities at Niles, and him raising his own voice.

“We were always playthings for you, don’t you dare try and stop us now!”

Connor came into the living room carrying his suitcase and the folder tucked securely against his chest. Amanda’s eyes snapped to him and she glared daggers.

“Where do you think you’re going?” She hissed.

Connor looked over at Niles for support. His brother had a red handprint starting to blossom across his face, and the sight of it made it Connor both fearful and angry. Connor remembered what Niles said about talking to Amanda and tightened his grip on his suitcase.

“I’m ready to go.” He said while looking at Niles.

Amanda stood between them, hands on her hips and a murderous gaze in her eyes.

“Absolutely not! You are going to stay right here. No daughter of mine is going to run away from home like this, and certainly not with some... Pervert brother!”

Amanda drew back her hand to strike him too, but Connor was the first to act. He shoved Amanda back, and both seemed shocked by what happened. Even Niles let out a small gasp.

“Shut up! I’m not your daughter!” He yelled.

“I don’t want anything to do with you. My entire life you’ve done nothing but put me down and make me be something I’m not. Niles got out the day he could, and you know what? I’m doing the same. You never gave a shit-”

Connor’s voice cracked, and Niles raised an eyebrow at the uncharacteristic profanity.

“About either of us. You just wanted perfect kids, to fit your perfect idea and show off. You didn’t want to raise us, and all we had was each other. Do you have any idea how long I tried to do everything I could to earn your praise?”

Connor needed this. He needed to get some form of closure.

“I wanted a mom. I wanted someone I could trust, and could go to when I felt lost. I wanted someone who could help me figure out where to go in life. And you know what? Even when I knew that wasn’t you, I desperately held onto the idea that... That you were a real mom I guess. And I wanted so bad to... To be a good kid. I thought that if I did what you wanted, you’d be proud of me, and I could be your son.”

He was crying now, tears spilling from his eyes and voice trembling as he spoke.

“But I know I can’t. I’m sorry this is how things have to end. I want to keep pretending that we actually have a chance of being a family, but you won’t change, and I’m not going to keep hurting myself in the hope that you will. Goodbye, M-Amanda.”

Amanda was stunned into silence and didn’t put up a fight when Connor and Niles left. Connor unceremoniously tossed his suitcase in the back of Niles’ car next to his own unpacked luggage and climbed into the passenger seat in silence. There was no turning back now, not that Connor could go back to Amanda after a stunt like that. By the time the car revved to life and Niles and Connor were out of the neighborhood, a wave of exhaustion hit Connor despite it only being the middle of the day. He stared out the window, his mind racing. He didn't think for even one moment he made the wrong choice, but there was no telling what Amanda would do in retaliation. If she wanted to, she could make their lives a living Hell. Connor just wanted to sleep for seven years.

The first part of the drive passed in silence with Connor dozing in the passenger seat. They stopped around six for dinner at a fast food place, Niles’ treat, and Connor worked through his feelings with a twenty piece nugget meal. By the time half of the nuggets were gone, he was chatting with Niles and trying to bring back the feeling of normalcy. He wouldn’t be going home that night to a bed, he and Niles were going to be staying at a hotel that was still another four hour drive away. If Niles drove through the night, they’d make it back to his apartment around three am. Connor didn’t see anything wrong with powering through it to make it back, if Niles was tired he could sleep and Connor could drive, he had his temps after all. But Niles was insistent on stopping for the night since it would be safer, and that Connor wasn’t as experienced a driver as he. He took one of Connor’s chicken nuggets and dunked it in the small sauce cup. Connor made a indignant face and leaned forward to reclaim the nugget. He opened his mouth and Niles placed it between his teeth for him to take a playful bite.

It was familiar, childish, everything Connor loved about spending time with his brother.

“Don’t make yourself sick eating all these chicken nuggets. We can take them with us.”

“Yeah, but they’re not as good reheated.”

Niles playfully fed Connor the rest of the chicken nuggets, slowly so he wouldn’t get sick. Once the nuggets were gone, Niles and Connor got back in the car for the next stretch of road. Connor tried to stay awake and keep Niles company but ended up dozing in the passenger seat again. Connor woke up a couple times during the drive, he remembered seeing some tunnels, bright lights advertising something, a train. When he woke up for the last time, it was because Niles was rousing him from the driver’s seat and pulling him to his feet outside the car. He blinked his eyes sleepily and worked the kinks from his body after being in the car for so long. The motel they were staying at didn’t look like much from the outside, certainly nothing Niles would want to stay at. They approached, each carrying their suitcases and entered the main lobby. It looked marginally better inside and didn’t smell like old feet.

“Welcome to the Caprice Motor Inn, what can I do for you tonight?” A cheery woman behind a counter greeted the pair.

Niles walked up to the counter and leaned his forearms against it.

“Any double rooms left? Preferably one with AC?”

She spent a moment looking over some logs, a rather inefficient way of record keeping in Niles’ opinion.

“Hm... Sorry, all we have left are single rooms. AC though. Would you like to book one?” 

Niles looked over at Connor.

“Single room, single bed.”

‘Would you feel alright sharing a bed with me?’ Was what Niles meant.

“That’s fine.” Connor told him quietly.

Niles paid for the room, collected the key, and led Connor to it. It was different than the last motel Connor had stayed at years ago. It almost reminded him of the type of room a grandmother would have. The last time he was in any sort of motel was when he was fifteen and Amanda had taken him with her on a business trip. He parked his suitcase in a corner of the room and flopped face down onto the bed with a huff. It was a lot softer than he was expecting and smelled of vanilla air freshener and old cigarettes. He felt like he could just melt into the bed right then and there and pass out. He could hear Niles moving around the room and unpacking something from one of the suitcases. 

“You can’t go to sleep yet Connor, you still need to get a shower and change into some pyjamas.”

Connor made a tired groan into the bed and rolled over. Niles was standing beside him with a smile on his face and Connor’s pyjamas in his hand. 

“Before you shower though, how about we do something about that hair?”

Niles led Connor into the bathroom and set him down on the toilet seat. He left a moment and came back holding a pair of sharp looking scissors and an electric trimmer. Connor smiled, remembering the last time Niles cut his hair. It had looked terrible last time, but he had loved it anyway. Niles set the scissors and trimmer on the bathroom counter and played around with his phone for a moment. He kept looking from Connor’s face, to his phone screen, and eventually saw something that made him smile.

“I think this style looks nice.”

He showed Connor a picture on the phone of a man with short hair parted to the side. A small piece of hair came away from the main part and curled to the side.

“You’ll need some gel to keep it exactly that way, but I can cut it close enough you could swoop it back with a comb and it would look similar. Sound good?”

Connor nodded his head eagerly. Niles went to work, checking his phone to make sure he was doing a good job in between snips of the scissors. Connor watched with a giddy smile as his hair fell to the floor beside him and practically vibrated off the toilet. He could feel his head getting lighter the more Niles cut off him. When Niles had trimmed Connor’s hair to the approximate length he wanted with the scissors, he gave him a chance to see his hair before using the trimmer. Already Connor could tell that Niles had improved his beautician skills and was tempted to tease him about it but decided picking on the guy actively cutting his hair would likely be a bad idea. The edges of his hair curled up now it didn’t have the weight holding it down and he almost looked like a poor imitation of Mia Wallace. Niles worked on his bangs for a moment, cutting them to shape expertly before setting down the scissors and reaching for the electric trimmers.

“I’ll have to get the nape of your neck with these. They won’t cut you, I promise. Are you going to be okay with that?”

Connor had honestly expected Niles to have forgotten about how panicked he got when things touched his neck. He nodded, and steeled himself for the press of the trimmers. Niles pressed a kiss to the top of Connor’s head first, reassuring him, and then placed his hand on the back of Connor's neck. He flinched at the sensation of it and grit his teeth. Even though he knew it was just his brother, he couldn't fully quell the panic that bubbled up from inside him. Niles squeezed Connor's neck gently and stroked up and down.

“It's okay Connor, nothing's going to hurt you. Everything's alright.”

He moved his hand along Connor's neck until his brother stopped trembling. When he thought Connor was ready, he touched the cold metal of the trimmers to his neck while they were still powered off. His jolt wasn't as intense as when it had just been Niles’ hand, and the older brother smiled. He moved the clippers along Connor's neck how he would trim his hair, and finally pulled them back and hit the ON switch. Connor's tremor this final time was almost unnoticeable and Niles murmured praises as he finished with Connor's hair. The back of his head was now neatly trimmed with a crisp neckline.

“There we go Connor, well done.”

Connor flushed at the praise and his fingers reached up to card through what remained of his hair. His eyes widened and a smile broke out over his face before he even left the toilet to look at his reflection.

“Niles... It looks... Right.”

Connor hugged himself tightly, rocking on his feet.

“I look like a boy.”

Niles chuckled fondly and wrapped his arms around Connor.

“A very handsome boy too. Now get your shower, we need to be up early tomorrow.”

Connor took the fastest shower he ever had in his life and went back out to Niles. He wanted to drag his brother into the bed with him and pass out, but Niles planned on taking a shower and apparently enjoying it based on how long he was in the bathroom. By the time he was finished, the hectic day had caught up with Connor once again and he was nearly asleep on the bed. Niles climbed in beside him and slotted their bodies together like the final pieces of a puzzle. Connor hummed in content and buried his face in the crook of Niles’ neck, inhaling the lingering scent of the soap. It was warm under the covers of the hotel bed, and with Niles beside him Connor was able to enjoy the best night's sleep he had in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, the scene where Connor got his hair cut is really important, and I tried to do it justice, but just take my word that it's probably the most Important™ scene in this entire fic.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First up, sorry this chapter took so long! I kept bouncing back and forth between this and another fic and made minimal progress on either one lmao.
> 
> I'm actually really excited to post this chapter, I decided to play an impromptu game of "how many overused tropes can I shove into this story?"
> 
> On a serious note, I accidentally did plot stuff? Uh but not really? I don't feel like Niles and Connor are ready to fuck yet despite how much I want them to fuck, so to compensate I was like "well I'll just have Niles being a good brother and helping Connor with his feelings". So what ended up happening is I just made Connor make poor binding decisions and have a bunch of dysphoria talk and Niles helping him with it. So if you're sensitive to stuff like that just be careful reading this chapter.
> 
> Hhhhhhh I cannot wait until I get to add the tag "Tasteful Incest" to this fic. Right now I think we're at the "Incest Lite" stage.
> 
> Look, if I'm going to Hell for my writing, I'm going big ;)

The weeks following Connor leaving home were a blur. Amanda wanted him back, she wanted Niles to apologize, and then she wanted him to promptly fuck off and threatened to file to have a restraining order in place that would prevent him from seeing Connor. They spent too much time with lawyers, police, and in school offices getting Connor enrolled. By the time March rolled around, Connor was adjusting to his new school and busy catching up on missed work from curriculum differences. It was likely he'd need summer school to make up for all the gaps, unless he wanted to dual enroll in night courses. There was also the task of getting Connor's name changed legally. That was the part Amanda seemed to want to fight the hardest.

Connor came out publicly in May and had a lot of support. Graduation day he walked the stage in the black robes of the male students, night courses letting him graduate on time. Amanda didn't attend the graduation. She wasn't invited. Connor decided to take a gap year before going to college while he decided a major. He knew he wanted to go into something involving police work, but wasn't set in stone on a path yet. Connor also decided to get counseling for his past and to help him work through some of the abuse he went through living with Amanda. Niles supported him all the way, and was a stable anchor for him at home. Now that Connor wasn’t under Amanda’s constant watch, he was free to explore hobbies and his room reflected his growing interests. Several posters adorned his walls, including one for Knights of the Black Death, a band he recently discovered and liked. Connor looked happier than Niles had ever seen him than when they were growing up. He was turning into someone vibrant and outgoing, someone Niles looked up to. Niles was still struggling to find his own peace and place, yet Connor did so seamlessly. It filled Niles’ chest with a strange feeling. 

Some nights, Niles would walk into his room to find Connor sleeping peacefully in his bed and crawl in beside him and hold him. Some nights, Connor would knock on his door before bed and ask to join. Any other night, Connor would sleep in his own bed with a tangled mess of pillows and blankets strewn around him. Niles liked the nights where he could hold Connor while they slept the best. He was pondering this one night while he was unable to sleep. The clock on his bedside table said it was around three in the morning, and Niles turned over with a groan. He wanted to wake Connor but held himself back. He had been feeling different lately, and noticed a shift in their relationship since Connor came to live with him permanently. He noticed their affectionate kisses had became more frequent, and lingering. More times than not it was their lips meeting, occasionally coupled with an arm around a waist or hand trailing up a back slowly. Neither one of them made an effort to stop. 

When Niles finally drifted off to sleep, it felt restless and he awoke still tired. He could smell breakfast wafting into his room from the kitchen and smiled warmly. He pulled on a pair of boxers before padding barefoot into the kitchen to see what Connor was making. He could smell the bacon and sausage, and assumed Connor would make omelettes as well. Connor was nowhere to he seen and a plate with a note next to it sat in Niles’ typical spot at the table. 

“Connor? You here?” He called to the empty room. 

There was no answer as he sat in his spot and looked at the note. It was written in Connor's handwriting and explained that he merely had to go out for a few things and would be back later. It also had a bit about how he hoped Niles enjoyed his breakfast and there was more in the fridge if he wanted it. Niles could imagine Connor's voice as he read the note and smiled fondly. He would have to return the favour to him soon. Breakfast was delicious, and when he was finished eating and washing his dishes he decided to go for a run to kill time until Connor got back. He changed into his athletic wear and plotted out his route. If he kept a steady pace, he would be able to run the course and be back in about forty-five minutes, which would hopefully give him enough time to get a shower before Connor got back. 

Niles added his own note to Connor's and headed out the door towards a local park. It was still relatively early and only the most dedicated joggers were out. A couple of them recognized Niles and greeted him before falling silently into his pace for a time. It was cathartic to jog along someone, even if it was silent. Only one jogger remained with Niles by the time his route ended, a man with mismatched blue and green eyes and dark skin. He often jogged with Niles and while the two rarely met outside the park, Niles enjoyed his company and talking to him. 

“I saw you at the store the other day and was going to come talk to you, but I noticed you were with someone. Do you have a girlfriend?”

Niles had seen Markus as well, shopping with someone he assumed to be the boyfriend he had mentioned once or twice. 

“No, that was likely my brother. He just moved here recently. He's living with me until he decides to go elsewhere.”

Markus noticeably paused and nodded his head. Niles felt himself flexing his jaw in anticipation of having to get aggressive with Markus, but was disarmed by a smile. 

“My friend Ralph works in a couple transgender programs locally. Stuff to help people receive counseling and resources. I could give you his info if you want?”

It was a much nicer turn of events than Niles expected, and he accepted the info with a smile. He received Markus’ information as well, along with encouragement to text if he ever wanted to join him on more advanced trails. They parted ways shortly after and Niles made his way home. Connor still wasn't home by the time he returned so he trudged off to the shower. He had just stripped and gotten under the running water when he heard the front door bang from the entryway. 

“Niles! I'm home, are you here?”

Connor heard the shower running a moment later and made his way to the bathroom. The door was cracked so Connor poked his head in without shame. He should've known better, that obviously if the water was running Niles would be standing naked behind the frosted glass washing up. He'd never seen Niles naked before, not that he could fully remember at least. He was sure that even Niles went through the phase where he adamantly refused to wear clothes as a child, but he certainly didn't have the body of a child now. The glass hid most of him and only allowed Connor to observe his silhouette where he could see faint hints of his muscle definition. He lifted weights and played football in high school, so Connor knew they were there. He knew he should just leave, let Niles finish his shower, but he found himself stepping inside the bathroom instead. 

“Gonna be much longer?” He asked over the running water. 

Niles nearly dropped the bottle of shampoo he had been holding at the sound of Connor's voice. He hadn't expected him to just barge into the bathroom while the shower was running. He felt a blush creeping onto his face and took a deep breath through his nose to calm himself. 

“Shouldn't be much longer.” 

“Well hurry up, I want there to be some hot water left when you're done.”

Niles chuckled at Connor whining about the water and set down his shampoo.

“If you’re that worried, come in while the water’s still hot.”

It was a bluff. Maybe. More than likely. Niles wasn’t expecting Connor to actually take him up on the offer, it was a joke. Connor liked jokes. There was no verbal response from Connor and Niles assumed he had crossed some sort of line. He was going to apologize for what he said when he heard a quiet shuffle noise and the door to the shower opened and closed briefly. Niles looked over his shoulder and was surprised to see Connor had taken him up on his offer. Connor had covered his chest with his folded arms and crossed his legs slightly to keep himself covered. Niles almost looked away immediately with a blazing face, but was horrified to see dark bruises splattered around Connor’s ribs.

“Connor what... What the Hell happened to you?”

Connor seemed surprised Niles said anything out his bruises and looked away almost sheepishly.

“I um... Did something really stupid.” He admitted quietly.

Niles turned around to face Connor, not caring about anything like modesty at the moment.

“What did you do? Move your arms so I can see.”

Connor only wrapped his arms tighter around himself.

“No, it’s really fine. I just... It won’t happen again.”

Niles assumed his intimidating stance with Connor, which was perhaps a tad more awkward considering they were both naked in a small shower. He was only distantly aware that his stance left him completely exposed to Connor’s gaze as he kept a steely gaze on his brother. Eventually, Connor sighed and relented. He lowered his arms so Niles could see the rest of the bruises. They stopped just under his breasts and circled around his ribs. Niles reached partially out to Connor’s chest and froze when he realized what he nearly did. 

“Connor, I need to... See all the bruising. Could you... Lift up?”

Connor nodded and cupped his breasts to move them out of the way. The bruising went under his breasts as well, and seemed to be particularly bad there. Niles pressed lightly against some of the bruising and Connor winced above him.

“Sorry, sorry...” Niles mumbled.

He pulled his hands away and Connor let go of his breasts.

“I was trying to bind my chest.” He admitted.

“I looked at getting a real actual binder online but they’re so expensive. So I just... Improvised a few times to feel better. I stopped when... It started hurting too bad.”

“Connor...”

Connor wrapped his arms around himself again.

“Look, I know it was stupid. Sorry. I just... Had to, okay?”

He made an agitated noise.

“Look, the water’s gonna get cold. Shouldn’t we actually shower instead of just standing here?”

The silver lining of the situation was the shower wasn’t as awkward as it was when Connor had first stepped in. The only tension now was the lingering effects of the conversation they had, and not the fact they were nude in a shower together. Niles watched Connor wince a couple times as he was washing up and wondered how long he had the bruises. He also watched as Connor snuck casual glances at him and looked quickly away. Niles had never felt particularly self-conscious about himself before, on the contrary he knew he was rather impressive. He wondered what Connor thought. Was he jealous? Impressed? Uncomfortable? As many glances as he had snuck, Niles doubted uncomfortable was the likely culprit. Niles had to admit he snuck his fair share of glances at Connor as well, but whether he noticed, he couldn’t be sure. Niles had to admit: Connor certainly looked nice. He beat the thoughts away as he was turning off the water. The absolute last thing he needed to do was get aroused in front of Connor at a time like this. They dried off in the bathroom together and while Niles was busy toweling his hair dry he heard Connor clear his throat. 

“So... I didn't have any other plans for today. We could watch a bunch of movies if you want, or go out and do something?”

Niles nodded. 

“Sounds good. How about we go out to see a movie? There's a scary one you might like.”

Connor beamed at the suggestion. 

“I'd love to! Hurry up Niles, I wanna see it as soon as we can!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So lemme know what you thought, I'm a slut for reviews. So tomorrow starts NaNoWriMo, which for those of you out of the loop is just a very confusing way to say "National Novel Writing Month". NaNoWriMo is a contest with yourself (or others should you so choose) to write a set goal for words. My goal is going to be 50k words for the month, a steep order but I have faith. For NaNo this year, I'm going to be working on an original novel and not doing any fanfic, so unfortunately this story won't update until December at the earliest.
> 
> Maybe if I hit my goal I'll go back to writing fic, but this year I'm determined to make a decent attempt at my goal. If memory serves, last year I hit roughly 1800 words out of 50k... So that's what I'm trying to beat lmao.
> 
> Anyway, wish me luck, and I'll see you lovelies in a month.
> 
> AH YES, IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE SHAMELESSLY PLUGGED MY DISCORD!!!! COME TALK AND MEME ABOUT DEPRESSION WITH ME.
> 
> https://discord.gg/mRrBfy7
> 
> The server is 18+, so please don't join if you're younger than that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the moment we've all been not waiting for.
> 
> The FUCKSCENE.
> 
> Uh but yeah. They fuck. And there's some plot? And then partial cliffhanger slash open ended interpret it as you want to interpret it thing.
> 
> Also what is editing? Hhhhh, something I didn't do to this chapter.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me for this journey, and this is indeed the last chapter. I wanted Connor to get rawed by his brother, and dammit he's finally getting rawed. Tune into the notes at the end of the chapter for intellectual commentary.

After their trip to the movies, work got too busy for Niles to spend a lot of time with Connor. He started coming home late, only a couple hours before Connor needed to go to sleep. Connor was accepted into a local college and would be starting in a couple months. The classes would be mostly online, with him only needing to be on campus for special labs he would need to do on occasion. Amanda tried to reconnect on several occasions but showed no signs of being any different than she had been before. Connor shut down her attempts to reconnect without hesitation. Niles knew it was taking a toll on Connor to have to continuously deal with her, but didn’t think it was his place to tell Connor to stop. Connor needed to be able to make his own decisions and learn how to sever the final ties with Amanda on his own. There had been times in the years before when Niles had almost crumbled and accepted Amanda back into his life. Had almost gone back to her and let her puppet him around. He pushed the thought from his mind as a shiver ran through him.

It was late at night and he was just coming home from a long day. Connor had likely gone to bed hours ago and the residence was dark as he pulled into the driveway. He was exhausted as he trudged in through the door and hung his coat up on the rack. Just as he thought, it was quiet inside. He stopped in the kitchen to pour himself a drink and grab a handful of raisins before padding down the hallway and into the bathroom for a shower before bed. The hot water did wonders to relax him and when he finished, he stepped out wearing a towel around his waist and walked into his bedroom. Even in the near darkness, he could make out a distinctly ‘Connor’ shaped lump in his bed. He laid beside Connor and ruffled his hair with a warm smile. Connor shifted under the blankets and opened his eyes slowly. He reached out to Niles and pulled him down into a sleepy embrace.

“Wet...” Connor mumbled against his neck.

Niles pulled away the blankets and climbed under them beside Connor. Droplets of water he hadn’t dried away clung to his bare skin and transferred to Connor through his thin pyjamas.

“I just got out of the shower. I didn’t know you were sleeping here tonight.”

Connor wrapped his arms around Niles and pressed his face against his chest. The contrasting temperature made Connor shiver and convinced him to draw closer to his brother. He inhaled the lingering scent of his soap, a deep woodsy smell that somehow made him focus and lull him back into a sleepy state. He pressed his face against Niles’ neck and inhaled deeply. He could feel Niles card his fingers through his hair and gently tug his head up for a kiss. Connor kissed him slowly, a lazy press of the lips and traveling hands. He paused when his fingers reached the rough material of Niles’ towel, heart stuttering and he stopped kissing Niles to search his face.

“I’m a tad under dressed.” Niles murmured.

“I did just get out of the shower. I wasn’t expecting any company, so I didn’t bother to grab a change of clothes.”

Connor felt his face heating up. He was pressed up against his brother while he was practically naked, nothing but a towel keeping him even remotely modest. Connor felt his fingers twitch involuntarily and was hyper aware that Niles was holding eye contact with him. Connor slowly slid his fingers under the edge of the towel and closed his hand. Neither he or Niles were breathing, each waiting for the other to make the first move. The spell was broken when Connor pulled the towel down by a couple inches and Niles’ sharp hip bone was revealed. Connor trailed his hands along the newly exposed skin, still hidden from his direct sight by the blankets. He pulled away more of the towel and tossed it somewhere outside the blankets. Niles pressed their hips flush together and Connor mewled quietly at the feeling. 

“Connor... If we keep going...”

Connor shuddered. 

“I don’t think I can hold back. Tell me to stop now. Tell me this is wrong, and you don’t want this.”

Instead of telling Niles to stop however, Connor kissed him again and guided his brother’s hands to the hem of his pyjamas. Niles kissed him hungrily, tugging Connor’s top up and over his head. As soon as his top was removed, Connor guided Niles’ hands to his chest and encouraged him to touch. Niles felt Connor shivering as he caressed his younger brother and would’ve stopped if it wasn’t for Connor’s quiet noises of approval. He cupped Connor’s breasts and kneaded them for a moment, feeling how the skin gave under his fingers and rubbing the pads of his thumbs against Connor’s nipples. Connor hummed while mouthing at Niles’ throat and nipping at his collarbones. He could feel Niles growing hard and pressing eagerly against him as they continued.

“N-Niles...” Connor stumbled over himself trying to speak.

“I want... Want you to... Want to feel..!”

He huffed, blush colouring his cheeks. He’d seen enough porn to know what to say, read enough erotica to know what he wanted to ask for, yet he couldn’t spit it out. Niles looked at him with an understanding smile and sat up. The covers fell away from him and Connor, and he helped his brother out of his sleep pants and underwear. He sat on his knees on the floor and pulled Connor over to the edge of the bed with his legs hanging off it. He settled between Connor’s legs and kissed along the inside of his thighs while listening to Connor's quickening breaths. When he reached Connor's center he paused and looked up to his brother for a clue as what to do next. Connor gazed back at Niles full of want and curiosity, face red and eyes red. 

“Ever done this before?” Niles asked him. 

Connor shook his head. 

“I've... Touched myself before, but that's it.”

Niles wrapped an arm around Connor's hips to anchor him and kissed him chastely on his pubic mound. Connor let out a surprised noise despite obviously being aware what was happening. 

“How do you touch yourself?”

Connor felt like his face was going to catch fire it was so hot. 

“I... I start by slipping my fingers into my underwear and... I play with my vulva-”

“A clinical term. Interesting.”

Connor huffed. 

“Shut-shut up Niles!”

His older brother chuckled, the sound slightly muffled from his face being between Connor's legs. 

“Go on Connor, tell me more.”

He licked along the outside of Connor's vulva teasingly. Tongue following a repetitive, slow pattern. Connor mewled above him and rocked his hips as Niles continued his teasing.

“I... I like to imagine someone else touching me. Its uh... Embarrassing.”

Niles cocked his head to the side and grinned wickedly at Connor. 

“Oh? Who do you imagine? Do they make you feel good?”

He licked a long stripe across Connor's outer folds while intentionally avoiding his clit. Connor whined and threaded his fingers through Niles’ hair and tugged his head forward. Niles let himself be pulled closer until his face was flush against Connor. He licked into him, closing his eyes and enjoying the way Connor shook and whimpered from just his tongue. Niles grew bold and dragged his teeth along Connor's sensitive skin and the loud curse word that tumbled from his lips seemed to travel right to his dick. Niles pulled back long enough to admire the sight of Connor's pussy shining with a mix of his own fluids and Niles’ saliva before returning to it an eating him out with gusto. He laved attention on Connor's clit: tracing circles around it with his tongue, sucking on it, and licking broad strokes along it. He stopped only when Connor let out a sharp whine and his legs started to flex closed. Connor was shaking and breathless above him, face perfectly debauched. 

“Does it feel this good when you touch yourself?” Niles murmured.

“Do you shake and moan like you’re doing for me?”

Connor bit his lip as if he was afraid to answer. Niles’ lips returned to Connor’s pussy and he worked slowly, reverently. Connor laid back on the bed and let Niles continue. He moaned his praises to Niles and told him that he was better than anything he had ever imagined. As Nines increased his intensity, Connor felt his muscles tensing and he couldn’t keep still. His hips canted forward of their own volition against Niles’ mouth and he had to hold his brother down to the bed. Connor grasped at the bedsheets and rapid fire cursed. Eventually, Connor reached his limit and practically screamed as his climax struck. Niles continued to eat even after Connor was openly sobbing from the overstimulation. A second orgasm ripped through Connor and he wailed brokenly, begging Niles both ‘please more’ and ‘please stop’. When Connor because too disoriented to form coherent words, that was when Niles stopped. Connor’s body trembled from the aftershocks of his orgasms and Niles climbed onto the bed to lay beside him and hold him until he stopped trembling.

“Connor? Are you alright?”

He soothingly ran his fingers through Connor’s hair and lightly massaged his scalp. Connor’s breathing slowly returned to normal and his heart stopped hammering in his chest.

“M’kay...” He mumbled as a response.

“M’fine... Throat...”

Niles kissed Connor’s forehead.

“I’ll get you something to drink and be back.”

Niles left the bed and padded naked to the kitchen. He filled a small cup with cool water and brought it back to Connor in the bedroom. Connor was sitting up in bed by the time Niles had returned and took the water with a grateful smile. He drank it slowly and set the empty cup on a bedside table when he was done.

“Thank you.”

Connor pulled Niles into a kiss when he climbed back onto the bed. Niles, in turn, gently eased Connor into a laying position and hovered above him. The flush that had been gradually subsiding from Connor’s skin quickly returned as he watched Niles with expectant eyes.

“We don’t have to do any more.” Niles told him.

“We can stop here.”

Connor shook his head.

“I want to keep going, please?”

Niles lowered his body, pressing comfortably against Connor. He dotted chaste kisses along his neck and upper body while easing his legs apart. He paused then, biting his lip in thought.

“Are you still on your birth control?”

Connor nodded his head.

“Haven’t missed a day...” He mumbled.

“I didn’t realize I’d be... Um... Using it for its intended purpose some day. Especially...”

He chuckled nervously then.

“Especially with you.”

“Well, I hadn’t exactly planned on it either but...”

His eyes and hands trailed lower along Connor’s body.

“I’ll admit, the idea of doing something awfully similar to this might have crossed my mind before.”

His fingers found Connor’s clit and he rolled it between his thumb and forefinger. Connor jerked his hips instantly and he hissed at his brother.

“Don’t you think that poor bean has been through enough for a while?”

The two burst into chuckles at Connor’s outburst that ended in a a lazy make out session. The kissing was intermittently interrupted by more chuckles and Niles occasionally murmuring ‘that poor bean’. Eventually the two stopped their chuckling and returned to lazy kissing and gazing at each other lovingly.

“We still going?” Niles asked.

Connor nodded his head. Niles stuck two fingers in his mouth and covered them in saliva before bringing them to Connor’s soaking entrance. He pushed one in slowly, watching Connor's face as he adjusted to the intrusion. 

“I don't normally do this,” Connor admitted. 

“The angle's weird for my hand and it never feels... Enough.”

Niles’ fingers were long and slender, but Connor seemed to be taking one well enough. Niles prodded around while grinning to himself at how wet Connor was. He kissed down his brother's as he worked in the second finger and slowly scissored them to open him. 

“Don't worry Connor, I'll make sure you get 'enough’ this time.”

Niles took his time to enjoy Connor, adding a third finger when Connor started to clench around him and roll his hips. He wanted to rub at Connor's clit and see if he'd come from just his fingers, but Connor's order to 'leave that poor bean alone’ was too fresh and too amusing in his mind. He could tell Connor was chasing another orgasm from the way he was acting. Closed eyes, the biting of his lip, trembling legs, and quiet mewls were his favourite. Niles pulled out his fingers and brought them to his mouth. He closed his eyes and licked Connor's fluid off his fingers while his brother mumbled curses and squirmed on the bed. Not wanting to keep Connor waiting any longer, Niles finally lined himself up and slowly pressed in. Connor’s moans as he was filled were absolutely wonderful to Niles and he echoed his brother with a moan of his own. He stopped with his pelvis flush against Connor's to let him adjust and listen to his breathing. One of Connor's hands drifted down to press against the spot where Niles was filling him in wonder. 

“I can feel you...” He mumbled in awe. 

“I hope you can feel me,” Niles murmured into Connor's ear in response. 

“This isn't as fun if you can't.”

He pulled out slowly and pushed back in. He set a rhythm that had Connor letting out a shaky moan each time Niles’ hips met his own. Slow, lazy, intimate. Niles trailed kisses along as much of Connor as he could. After what felt like an eternity, Niles finally increased his pace. Connor laced his fingers with Niles’ and simply laid back and enjoyed himself. Niles had lifted Connor's hips off the bed and held him to drive himself deeper in. 

“Fuck... Niles, just like... Haaaa-!”

Deciding Connor's bean had enough time to recover, Niles slipped the hand that wasn't holding onto Connor's between his legs and rubbed at his clit some more. Connor howled in pleasure and gripped Niles as tight as he could while Niles continued to thrust into him. Niles dropped his head and rested his forehead against the junction of Connor's neck and shoulder. He could hear Niles panting quietly, punctuated by an occasional grunt of effort. Connor felt like he was completely enveloped by Niles, and didn't have any intent of leaving. He felt himself getting hotter, and hotter, and hotter, until it felt like he was melting from the feeling of Niles. His body tensed and he was frozen in a silent scream as he came. Somewhere in the midst of his orgasm, Connor felt Niles come as well and go still. Connor felt absolutely wrecked and idly moved his hands along Niles’ body while he panted hotly against Connor’s skin. Niles pulled out and his come trickled out of Connor and onto the bed sheets. They kissed lazily while both trying to catch their breath and until Niles left to grab washcloths to clean up with.

Luckily getting the come off the sheets wasn’t an issue, but the wet spot it left wasn’t the most pleasant thing. Niles dabbed away the fluids trying to dry on Connor and placed a kiss on his mound when he was done and crawled into bed next to him. A thin sheen of sweat still clung to their bodies, and while Niles wanted to get into the shower and clean off before going to sleep, he knew Connor wouldn’t be up for it in his state. Instead, Connor molded his body against Niles and smeared sloppy kisses against any skin he could reach.

“That was amazing.” Connor breathed against his neck.

“I’ve never felt so... Complete? I think I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.”

Niles threaded his fingers through Connor’s hair. He massaged his scalp in slow circles with a lazy smile.

“Complete, hmm?”

Niles could feel Connor tense and relax before he answered.

“Yeah... This felt... Natural? I mean we’re... We understand each other. We’re good for each other? I guess... Shit...” 

Connor flushed.

“Look I love you, okay? You’re my brother, my best friend, the person I trust the most. So I guess... That’s why I wanted this?”

Niles wrapped his arms around Connor and kissed him deeply.

“Connor, I love you too. I want nothing but the best for you, and I want to be in your life for as long as I can. And I’m glad... I’m glad we could share this.”

Between the afterglow and Connor’s three orgasms, he was struggling to stay awake. 

“I’m glad too.” He mumbled sleepily.

He yawned and snuggled up closer to Niles.

“So what happens when I get a boyfriend?” He joked.

Niles chuckled softly.

“When you get a boyfriend, he better treat you right.”

He pulled the blankets up, nearly covering him and Connor entirely.

“And he better know that I get first dibs.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, I hope this was nice? I still was trying to tread that line right up to the end of "oh this is just a tad more brotherly nope wait that's incest". 
> 
> Considering this fic was just one big invasive thought that kind of ran away I'm actually pleased with the result. At the end of the day I had fun with it and that's what's important. Not sure if I'll ever do something like this again? But I'll bet you ten quid I said the same thing the first time I wrote non-con and hey look at me I write a lot of that shit now a days.
> 
> For those of you curious about my NaNo attempt this year, I did not meet my 50k word goal. I got about uh... We'll be generous and say 7k because I'm including the entirety of this chapter because I finished it before December 1st lol. Originally I wasn't going to use fanfic towards my NaNo goal, but my NaNo attempt was... Sadly ended when my mental health tanked.
> 
> So I've spent the last week or so doing this instead once I got better. I pretty much spent November 8th-24th in a deep depressive state and things got ugly. Oops. But I slowly dragged my ass outta the pit and finished this.
> 
> Time to do my obligatory plug of my 18+ Discord server where we meme about depression and occasionally pretend we're writers!!!
> 
> https://discord.gg/mRrBfy7


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